What would Khadijah (RA) do? Representing God on this Planet
Hello, Good Day and Assalaam u Alaikum to you today. I am so happy that you could be here today. You know life is such a beautiful thing. Yet, we go through experiences that may be painful to so many of us. Sometimes choices are made for us and we do not have the resources or the know-how as to how we can step into our power, and have the confidence to make our own decisions.
Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to voice your opinion and tell others how you were feeling, but you were so afraid. You were afraid to hurt someone. You were afraid of what you were going to say. You were afraid that your opinion did not matter. You were afraid of the repercussions of your words. You were afraid that if you said anything, there were consequences that had to be paid.You felt so hopeless and helpless about your situation that you didn’t think that you had any options.
I want to tell you that you have come to the right place because I have been in that place of fear and hopelessness. I know what you are going through. You have arrived on this site because you belong here. This is a very safe place for you to be. I am sharing myself with you. I am opening up to share with you my pain and my fear because I want you to know my story.
For years, I struggled with my role as a woman. I really didn’t know what was expected from me.
Or rather, I didn’t know what the males in my life expected from me. It seems like the men made the rules-and we just followed. If the men were happy, then we were happy. God forbid that there was not enough salt in the food, or that the children were not fed when they came home from work. That was trouble for me. My moods fluctuated according to who was yelling at me from the superior males and females in my life.
It seems like life was just happening to me. I had no control at all. I was always walking on egg shells. If I told you that I was afraid, that would be an understatement. Fear was my best friend. “Don’t speak out of turn”, said my mother-in-law. Stop being cheecky is what I would hear if I stated an opinion. Reading was absolutely forbidden because “we don’t like smart girls”. I was in a turmoil everyday.
I cried in the shower almost everyday during my marriage because if my husband and his family caught me crying, I was called “ungrateful”. My late father’s words kept me going, “Fatima, they can take everything away from you, except two things, your faith and your knowledge”. I held on to those words like a lifesaver.
Unfortunately, leaving my marriage and going home back to my parents was not an option. My parents (may they be given paradise) were weak. They worried about what people might say if their daughter returned home
It took me about 2 weeks after my lavish wedding of 1500 attendees in South Africa to realize what a big mistake I had made. I had made my bed, now I had to lie in it. I became pregnant immediately after my wedding. The stress of living with such controlling in-laws caused me to have a miscarriage. My mother-in-law said “take the day off, but make sure that you clean the floors thoroughly on your hands and knees. The corners are very dirty.” I was bleeding severely, yet I wouldn’t dare disobey her orders. [ Read More ]